Let's laugh

A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and a cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just
like Dave."

"Who?"

"Dave Bronson. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming
along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave."

"There are always a few clouds over everybody."

"Not Dave. He is a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in
tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and
danced like a Broadway star."

"He was something, huh?"

"He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew
all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like
me. I change a fuse, I blackout the whole neighborhood."

"No wonder you remember him."

"Well, I never actually met Dave."

"Then how do you know so much about him?"

"I married his widow!"

______

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six-year-olds. After explaining the Commandment to "honor thy father
and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a Commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of the family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."

______

A preacher was completing his sermon. With great expression he said, "If I
had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
Then he finally said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take
it and throw it into the river." Finishing his sermon he then sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile,
"For our closing song, let us sing hymn 265, "Shall We Gather at the
River."

_______

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown
had kissed her after class. "How did that happened?" gasped her mother.

"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me
catch him."

_______

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As
she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was. The little girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the little girl
replied, "They will in a minute."